![]() ![]() ![]() Where Denis de Rougemont, the author of the mid-twentieth- century classic Love in the Western World, might say, “Passion is a death drive: stay away from it!,” Perel says, “Passion demands you discard all that’s dear to you-so what are you waiting for?” And she smiles.Įven though she was born in Belgium and schooled in Israel, and speaks eight languages, she is fundamentally, deeply American-indeed, announcing that you speak eight languages is a deeply American thing to do. She is, after all, to judge from Mating in Captivity, an extremely upbeat person and backs off constantly from the disturbing nature of her contentions. One might reasonably make the argument that if good sex comes at so high a price, who wants it? Or at least, who can afford it? If it comes at the price of intimacy, honesty, security, harmony, openness, and trust, shouldn’t we just pass? Of course, Esther Perel would claim that I’m distorting her argument. And the bad news-or the good, depending on your priorities-is that it’s probably true.Ĭommunication? Forget it. ![]() That, in so many words, is the theme of Esther Perel’s little red book on how to achieve sexual bliss in marriage. ![]()
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